Asking for the parent’s blessing is a longstanding and extremely conventional aspect of a proposal. There are a lot of reasons why doing this is not a good thing and plenty that suggest otherwise.
Why You Should Seek Permission
It is Respectful
Seeking permission from the father before proposing to your lady-love shows you care about her and her parent’s wishes. It shows you are serious about marrying their daughter and that you are a family-first man.
It Will Ease His Mind
Whether you like it or not, family men bother about their daughter – however capable and independent she is. Having a one-to-one or a private chat will give her father a chance to express his concerns and you the chance to reassure him.
It Gives You an Opportunity to Bond
Tying the knot with the one you have spent your whole life searching for, means that you are a permanent member of her family. This means you will have to form positive relationships with them – particularly her parents at the very least. This is the ideal opportunity to start cementing this bond, and seeking permission is a good sign that you are prepared for life together.
It Gets Her Family Involved
Marriage does not just mean partnering with someone you love, but you are also being part of her family. Seeking their blessing is also a good way to get her loved ones involved in your proposal. It is sure to make the proposal more memorable and extra special for everyone concerned.
Why You Should Not Do It
It Could Go against Your Lover’s Wishes
Even if your sweetie’s father would appreciate you are seeking his blessing (perhaps for the above-mentioned reasons), it might just not be what she really wants from you. Many women have complicated or troubled relationships with their parents, and if your girl also has these, then it is best to bow to her wishes. When in doubt, ask her whether it is the right thing to do under the circumstances.
It Could Also Ruin the Surprise
While popping the question to your lover is an exciting time for you, it is an important matter for her family. If her dad is the type who cannot keep a secret, then it is perhaps best not to leave him in the loop. Likewise, if she is difficult to surprise, then telling nobody about your plan would help reduce the possibility of her learning it beforehand.